SCP-9850, "Miss Fortune"

Item#: 9850

Level3

Containment Class:

keter

Secondary Class:

none

Disruption Class:

vlam

Risk Class:

notice

link to memo

Special Containment Procedures: Due to SCP-9850's ability to exit all previously attempted forms of containment at will, Operation LENIEN is currently underway. All Foundation personnel that come into contact with SCP-9850 in any form are to contact Esoteric Containment Supervisor Jackson Lenniard or MTF Nu-34 Commander Helen Bugard.

► Access Operation LENIEN

Operation LENIEN - alternatively referred to as ECP-94 - is a procedure that focuses on the containment of anomalies that are unable to be contained by conventional means. During Operation LENIEN, members of MTF Nu-34 ("Somnambulant Directives") are tasked with administering HE3L - a chemical compound designed to induce a subject into a permanent REM state - to anomalies. While subjects are in the HE3L-induced REM state, MTF Nu-34 escorts them to a secure containment chamber designed to supply them with a constant dosage of HE3L, ensuring their permanent containment.

Description: SCP-9850 is a 23 year old female of presumably Chinese descent, although this has been unconfirmed due to all genetic data having been received from SCP-9850 being contaminated past usage - presumably due to their anomalous effect. All footage and photography of SCP-9850 has notably been lost due to malfunction, although artistic depictions are still located within a secure vault in Site-86¹. SCP-9850 is also a member of GoI-5869 ("Gamers Against Weed"), using the handle "littlemissfortune" in IRC and Discord chats, and being a component of their recent second series of the Misters Against Weed.

SCP-9850 possesses the ability to manipulate the probability of an unfortunate event occurring to a specific person or object, although SCP-9850 seems to only be able of making an unfortunate event occur with absolute certainty and cannot decrease or slightly increase the chance of one happening. Notably, unfortunate events caused by SCP-9850 cannot cause actual physical damage to sentient creatures, ironically allowing SCP-9850 to prevent injuries.

If SCP-9850 is requested to give or show a subject Document 9850-A, it will manifest in a location that would be deemed "unfortunate" by the subject such as within their coffee mug or within an SCPs containment chamber. Additionally, footage of the area Document 9850-A manifests in will show that it had been there prior to SCP-9850 going to get the document, having been put there in various means (ex. A researcher dropping it into their mug on accident), suggesting temporal alteration. Subjects who are responsible for the relocation of Document 9850-A into its destination tend to hold little to no memory of how they obtained the document, usually never realizing it was on their person.

Addendum:

► Access Document 9850-A

Holy Heck! You've just found yourself your very own Ms. Fortune, a part of a new series by Gamers Against Weed! You should go buy a lottery ticket. Who is Dr. Wondertainment?

Find them all and become Mr. Weed!

00. Mr.
01. Mr. Non-Euclid
02. Ms. Fortune ✔
03. Mr. E
04. Mr. Mrs. Square
05. Mr. Karcist
06. Ms. Twisty
07. Mr. Daydream
08. Mr. Fanfic
09. Mr. Philospher's Stone
10. Mr. Censorship
11. Ms. Take
12. Ms. Understand
13. Mr. Pun
14. Mr. Abbreviation
15. Mr. Bean(s)
16. Ms. Adoptables
17. Mr. Thyme
18. Mr. Veil
19. Mr. Roulette
20. Mr. Janitor and Mr. Gunfucker
21. Mr. Frank
22. Mr. Obvious
23. Mr. Joe Who
24. Mr. You Died
25. Mr. Collection

► Access Interview 9850-A

Interview 9850-A:

Interviewed: SCP-9850
Interviewer: Dr. Eodar
Foreword: First recorded interview with SCP-9850, taken within the first variation of her containment chamber through an interview screen. Visual recordings of the interview were corrupted past repair.

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[BEGIN LOG]

Dr. Eodar: Greetings, SCP-9850.
SCP-9850: Miss Fortune.
Dr. Eodar: Apologies, did you say your name was… "Misfortune"?
SCP-9850: There's a pause after the "miss".
Dr. Eodar: Noted. Due to professional reasons, I will still be referring to you as SCP-985—
SCP-9850: Are you sure about that?
Dr. Eodar: Please do not interrupt me during the interview.
Dr. Eodar leans back in his chair too heavily, causing the chair to tip over making him fall.
SCP-9850: Oh, I'm so sorry about that. How unfortunate.
SCP-9850 was reported to smile by observing personnel at this moment as Dr. Eodar sets up his chair and sits back down.
Dr. Eodar: SCP-9850 - erm - Miss Fortune, please remain civil during our interview.
SCP-9850: Holy shit, dude. Cut the civility shit out like, man, you're a part of a secret organization and study anomalies, but you don't need to act it when talking to me. If there's a rule against it, break it! Change it later! Your bosses do worse anyways, and if they get after you for it you can contact me and I'll make sure they know they're hypocritical assholes.
Dr. Eodar: Are you accusing my superiors of guideline violations?
SCP-9850: Alright, alright. I'm not accusing, I'm stating. Ever wonder why the worst among you always get the highest ranks? This place is corrupt as shit. You may think it's not my place to speak since I've been here all of a week, but when you've been with the people they hunt down - been one of the people they hunt - you tend to learn a lot about them. The prey fears the unknown as it can be a predator, and all fear stems from avoiding death. You know what that means? That means a good way to avoid death is to take out the unknown. Learn about the predators that lurk. That's how we survive. Admittedly, we also cut a deal with the Overseers above, but I don't want you getting filled with amnestics. I want you to remember this. If you want to remember this, lie. Lie, lie, lie. If you don't care, tell me, but I'll know you're one of them too.
Dr. Eodar: Ahem. Can we please continue with the original interview?
SCP-9850: May god help you, man. Whatever, let's get this over with.
Dr. Eodar: Thank you. You are a member of the Gamers Against Weed, correct?
SCP-9850: No "the", but yeah. I am. I died a while back - executed, more accurately - and the Gamers Against Weed saw my soul for sale. Evidently a person like me fits the role well, and so I became Miss Fortune. Ironically, it was rather fortunate that they chose me when they did, I don't think I would've prolonged much more. I guess that's not what you're here to talk about, though, is it?
Dr. Eodar: Correct. Can you elaborate on your abilities?
SCP-9850: I curse people with bad luck, until something bad happens to them. It's usually immediate, but I remember once it took about five minutes for the thing to occur. That was an odd moment, I was waiting the whole time and wondering if I just didn't realize what happened. They had their wallet stolen once we turned our backs, was pretty fun. I think it's worth noting that my misfortune can't actually harm anyone though. You could argue that falling from your chair earlier was harmful, but I mean things that'll actually effect you. Like a cut, bruise, punch to the face, death. Nothing like that'll happen as a result of my misfortune. Of course you can still die of unrelated circumstances, but my soured luck won't be the thing that does you in. Funnily enough, I remember once I saved somebodies life with it. One of my friends - a visionary if you will - informed me that they saw somebody getting shot in the head. I waltzed over and made the gun misfire. The guy then tried to attack the dude I was protecting, but I made it so that the good dudes luck would sour on accident due to my lack of focus, but it actually ended up saving him. My visionary friend told me that he now saw the dude getting stabbed, but the dudes coat got stuck on the floor which caught him while he was rolling, making the stab go into the floor. The aggressor got arrested after I soured his luck to the point where he was on the verge of fucking crying. Wuss.
Dr. Eodar: Interesting. Did you chose your abilities?
SCP-9850: Dude, I wish. If I could've chosen my abilities things would be so much easier, but I was stuck with the title "Miss Fortune". Name came before me. The abilities they chose so that it'd fit me personality wise, but the name is fully theirs.
Dr. Eodar: Did you have a name prior to being Ms. Fortune?
SCP-9850: Of course I did, that's a stupid question. Everyone has a name. Mine just so happened to be Cai. I'm still called Cai by some, but I prefer Ms. Fortune because of how dumb it is.
Dr. Eodar: You prefer it because you think it is idiotic?
SCP-9850: Not "idiotic" per se, it's just like… something you'd never name a kid. And I like that. Fits me well enough! I always think of it as more of a title than a name anyway. Like "The Wanderer", except in this case i'd be "The Fortune" I suppose. It's also a pun, so that's gotta count for something, right? Cai "Miss Fortune". Has a ring to it.
Dr. Eodar: I suppose it does.
SCP-9850: Is that all?
Dr. Eodar: For now, yes. That will be all, Ms. Fortune.
SCP-9850: Damn, I liked talking. Wait, hold on a second, I have something to give to you.
Dr. Eodar: Hm?
SCP-9850: Uh, my Gamers Against Weed documentation. It'll be in the oven in your home. Also, you left it on, don't know if you know.
Dr. Eodar seems visibly panicked for a moment, quickly exiting the interview area.
SCP-9850: That was fast. I'll be seeing you, Eodar! Peace!

[END LOG]

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Closing Statement: Dr. Eodar's home oven was left on, containing an instance of Document 9850-A inside. It was heavily burned, yet still intact. Dr. Eodar was amnesticized upon return to Site-86.

► Access Chat Log 9850-N

Elysium_Crawls has joined the chat.
bluntfiend: I don't think abbreviations work like that @socrasciety
littlemissfortune has joined the chat.
socrasciety: damn :<
littlemissfortune: hey, so i'm gonna tell you folk a little story
hetcopogg: this'll be fun
socrasciety: oh no
littlemissfortune: so you know how the janitors got me, yeah?
jockjamsvol6: Sorry about that.
gaycopmp4: yeah, i do
socrasciety: @bluntfiend should we pm this
bluntfiend: Probably, yes.
littlemisfortune: okay so, they sent a guy to interview me, yeah? eodar was his name if i recall correctly. so this eodar guy was a professionalism bitch and tried to get me to be professional. i made him fall out of his chair for that, but thats besides the point. so i began to tell this bitch about the corruption and all that yada-yada and he literally just did not give a shit. so the interview goes on and eventually at the end i give him the noteTM and tell him its in his oven, and apparently his oven is on. really unfortunate shit, more unfortunate than usual actually. anyway he cares more about his fucking oven being on than the foundations corruption which is a bruh
socrasciety: isn't there a character limit?
jockjamsvol6: Yeah there is, its just bugged right now.
littlemisfortune: :)
jockjamsvol6: Oh.
hetcopogg: well thats a name to add to the list, darn
bluntfiend: "The list"?
gaycopmp4: were working on a list of bad janitorsm together
socrasciety: dm me it
bones: I would be delighted if you could send it to me as well.
littlemissfortune: same
hetcopogg: there
bluntfiend: Make sure to add Six.
gaycopmp4: we can probably just toss in all of the numbered ones
littlemissfortune: "the numbered ones"
hetcopogg: that's better than their actual name imo
jockjamsvol6: Infinitely more menacing. Who'd want to disobey The Numbered Ones?
littlemissfortune: me
jockjamsvol6: You don't count.
hetcopogg: me
gaycopmp4: honey, you'd actually fucking die
hetcopogg: nothing that can't be fixed!
bones: I suppose I would as well.
jockjamsvol6: There goes that joke.
socrasciety: hey ca n we get back to discussing the misters i have an idea
jockjamsvol6: Sure, let's hear it.
littlemissfortune: hold on a sec
ERROR 489: Connection lost.
We are experiencing difficulties connecting to your Internet. If the problem persists for longer than a minute try reconnecting to the Internet.

► Access Interview 9850-B

Interviewed: SCP-9850
Interviewer: Site-86 Temporary Research Director Seniau
Foreword: Following Chat Log 9850-N, SCP-9850 was relocated and brought into a new containment chamber within Site-86. Director Seniau personally requested a meeting with SCP-9850, which was approved by O5-6. Video footage of the interview was not taken as per request of Director Seniau.

---

[BEGIN LOG]

Seniau: Afternoon, Ms. Fortune.
SCP-9850: Hey dude.
Seniau: How are you feeling today?
SCP-9850: Like a winner. I drew my lucky number now.
Seniau: Hm? Can you elaborate, please?
SCP-9850: I drew a six from a deck of a million numbers. A very lucky draw. The lower you get the better, y'know? I didn't even have to play a trick with the stars, they just gave me this themselves.
Seniau: Interesting. Is there anything you wish to tell me?
SCP-9850: I have a question, if you can answer it.
Seniau: I'll try.
SCP-9850: Do you believe the Foundation is just?
Seniau: We do what we must. We try to avoid making unfair and unethical decisions whenever possible.
SCP-9850: Are you saying "we" as in the Foundation?
Seniau: I'm afraid not, Ms. Fortune.
SCP-9850: At least you're honest. That's gotta be good for something. Isn't honesty one of the heavenly virtues?
Seniau: That's not my area of expertise.
SCP-9850: So you guys make deals with the gods but don't learn their virtues? Christ, dude.
Seniau: I don't believe there was a deal to be made with the virtues.
SCP-9850: Mm. That's unfortunate.
Seniau: Extremely.
SCP-9850: Are you just here to stall for time, or did you want to want to hear what I have to say?
Seniau: Does it have to be either?
SCP-9850: Yeah, probably. You're you.
Seniau: …Admittedly, it was both.
SCP-9850: Huh. Why are you in here with me anyhow? Isn't that a pretty big risk?
Seniau: You can't harm me if you wanted to.
SCP-9850: I guess that's true. Hell, unfortunate for me. Karma for causing so many others to have bad luck, I guess.
Seniau: I can assure you karma doesn't exist.
SCP-9850: Oh aren't you living proof of that! Like, dude, if karma existed you'd have been killed twenty times over.
Seniau: Who's to say I haven't?
SCP-9850: Mm. That's fair. I believe that's all I have to say.
Seniau: Then I'll be taking my leave.
SCP-9850: Wait, hold on—
Seniau: Yes, Ms. Fortune?
SCP-9850 pulls Document 9850-A outside of one of their pockets located on a coat they were wearing, before reportedly handing it to Director Seniau.
SCP-9850: That explains it.
Seniau: I suppose it does. Thank you for your time.
SCP-9850: No problem, dude.

[END LOG]

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Closing Statement: Further research into explaining the details of this meeting are underway. Research closed as per order of the O5 Council.

Footnotes

1. Depictions not displayed here due to possibility of SCP-9850 utilizing it to corrupt this document in some form.